Writing about any of my personal experiences was the task I was assigned, and the question itself felt really heavy. Ending any of my experiences on a positive note felt puzzling, because when I look back, no memory has enough warmth that I’d want to relive. Somewhere, somehow, the 12-year-old girl who was genuinely happy faded away, leaving behind fragments of distorted memories.
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions and a constant hope that someone who could love and cherish me would save me-because in the end, we humans seek connection, a companion, warmth, and welcome. Throughout all the relationships-friendships, romantic or otherwise-l was never truly myself, and I never wanted to be “me,” because I was afraid of acknowledging the struggling, helpless, and hopeless version of myself.
But I do not want to quit on myself or stop learning about who I am. Rather than staying still, I would always choose small movements, even if they don’t look like steps. And maybe this is my resilience speaking-but whatever…
~ Surabhi S
The author is a Psychology Postgraduate passionate about understanding human emotions, lived experiences, and the journey toward self-acceptance.
Still from The Cat Returns (Neko no Ongaeshi), 2002. © Studio Ghibli. Used for educational and illustrative purposes.
