As dawn breaks, I think of my life and existence. My mind is full of unanswered questions. This was me! Hi I am Sabna. And here’s my story of Survival.
Survivor Series: Sabna
I was 19 when I got diagnosed with depression. I have been suffering from depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder for over 20 years now. I constantly had emotions of anxiety, fear, guilt and terror welling up in my thoughts. Then suddenly I realised that having a mood disorder doesn’t make one bad or incapable. Many a times thoughts about committing suicide have crossed my mind. I even figured out ways for that, but fortunately I didn’t do it. Later on my mental health problem became really severe owing to which I got admitted in a hospital and that was certainly the hardest challenge I have to face in my life. Doctors suggested ECT (electroconvulsive therapy) in which the patient would have to undergo shock treatment. But as my family couldn’t accept it I had to take high dose oral medicine equivalent to ECT.
Survivor Series: Sabna
Lo and behold- after three months I emerged as a new person, and went on to complete my academics upto post graduate level. A few months later I was hired in a reputed company in India which indeed moulded me and elevated me to a different level. I was under the impression that anxiety and depression would follow me everywhere I go and may turn out to be a hindrance to my work. But I was wrong I realised that having a mood disorder doesn’t make one bad or incapable.
I just focused on the treatment that helped me overcome my illness and therefore I proudly say that despite all the suffering and trauma that I had to undergo, I survived. Now I am strongly marching towards my goal with firm and determined steps. I learnt that one should never succumb to pain and never shut down. The real meaning of life is not to lose hope and to rise every time you fall. I hope my story throws some light into all your lives.
— Sabna S Vijayan–
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