Hey, I am Lettisha. I’m a singer/songwriter, and a law student. And here’s my story of survival.
Survivor Series: Lettisha
People often tell me that my energy is infectious – that my smile and wide tooth grin makes them happy too. But, what was I hiding? My anger issues. For a really long time I would value the happiness of other people over my own. Now when I reflect on it, many patterns of behaviour that I termed as kindness was a means of people-pleasing in disguise. These patterns would take the form of suppression. I’d sit on & suppress my feelings, hide my hurt – until like a pressure cooker I’d blow! It would take unsuspecting friends by surprise when it hit. It led to rifts – some permanent. I knew this wasn’t healthy for me or my relationships.
Survivor Series: Lettisha
A few steps that I took to help my situation:
- Therapy from a psychologist I vibed with.
- Put my mental & physical health before EVERYBODY ELSE’S. I believe that a drowning man must stabilise himself first before trying to help another. I will never ever think that’s selfish again.
- Whenever I get angry or hurt, I say to myself, “I’m getting angry” – this helps me be aware of my mental state. Then, I ask myself why I’m angry or hurt. If it’s caused by someone’s action I make it a point to tell them. This comes with practice, it’s not easy at first. But I owe it to my mental peace to keep trying.
- I understand now, my emotions aren’t there to make me feel horrible about myself, but to alert me. If ‘A’ happens and it angers me, it could be that I don’t like ‘A’. This beats ignoring them completely.
- I understand that I might never stop feeling anger, hurt or pain as they are part of the human condition. But by being aware of them, & accepting myself, I am able to take action: speak out for myself, remove myself from the situation or divert my attention elsewhere.
- Writing a letter to everyone that hurts my feelings who I can’t communicate with for whatever reason. Burning the letter. As the letter burns I repeat “I am healed” over and over. Sometimes I write many letters to the same person if I have to – some thorns run deep.
- Taking the three-month creativity course in the book, The Artist’s Way (pdf available on libgen). It’s a life-changing book that taught me that to become a better artist I must be aware of who I am. It has helped me embrace myself completely and love myself without expectations.
— Lettisha L S
Lettisha – Survivor
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